6. Family

Believe it or not, I used to have a family. A mother, a father, a sister. I often forget that I lost them, I was so desperate. And equally as often I count the stars in the sky and wonder who among them are watching?

01010010 01001111 01010011 01000101 01010011 00100000 01000001 01010010 01000101 00100000 01010010 01000101 01000100

Is there really a point in narrating my own loss? Am I losing my grip? Maybe I'm just one of many copies of myself and the family I remember isn't even my own. How would I ever know?

01010100 01001000 01000101 00100000 01000011 01001100 01001111 01000011 01001011 01010011 00100000 01010100 01001001 01000011 01001011 01001001 01001110 01000111 00100000 01000010 01000001 01000011 01001011

Sometimes I see myself falling again, like the nightmare I suffered from forever ago. I feel myself gone, dashed against stones, and replaced with something new. God I wish I could elaborate my brain won't stop seizing. I looked into His eyes

01010100 01001000 01000101 00100000 01000111 01001100 01001111 01001111 01001101 00100000 01001000 01000001 01010011 00100000 01000101 01001110 01010110 01000101 01001100 01001111 01010000 01000101 01000100

He is nothing but everything, a black pinhole in the sky, a throbbing oozing black cyst on reality. A blight in spirit and physical. He is God unlike any other before

01000001 01001110 01000100 00100000 01000110 01000001 01000100 01000101 01000100 00100000 01010100 01001111 00100000 01000010 01001100 01000001 01000011 01001011

God, Liar of Opulence, Obsession of Malice

5. The Rot

When things die, they fall apart. Decay, rot, decompose. And in many different spaces, I have died. And there is no greater cage than a casket.

But what's worse, is when you rot standing up. I've always thought the concept of zombies was creepy. I couldn't imagine my body as a vessel for the hunger for brains. However I came face-to-face with not one, but two. In one of these spaces where my doppelgänger lies, I watched a horrific story unfold.

I was driven mad by yet another eldritch god-like figure. I remember wearing a mask and instantly being thrown into the backseat of my own mind. I was forced to do hideous things, and despite having been able to remove the mask on many an occasion, I felt empty. Wrong. I mimicked the personality of the mask to no avail. My only salvation was to mimic it; I stitched my mouth shut. Just like my mask. I offered myself and another mask as a sacrifice to this dark lord pulling at the strings of these masks.

I lit myself ablaze and threw myself and my sacrifice into the running river. Our bodies were found with the masks melted to the corpse. Charred and peeling, our bodies were sent to a morgue. But despite our souls having left those bodies, we moved. We stood right the fuck up and left. I can only assume the masks are piloting my cadaver to make whatever ends meet that they have.

Unfortunately, I had my own encounter. It lasted no longer than 3 minutes, but both my body and the sacrifice's body saw me. Became curious, and prayed to their dark lord for answers. I suppose they got them, because I have been seeing those masks everywhere I turn. Running for years from myself is a pretty niche genre, but here we are.

I just wish that was the only reason I'm back here writing again. 

P.S.  Fuck passwords, am I right?